Not so blind item: The two-headed monster rears it's ugly head(s).

It's Sunday, so that means Rajeev Masand gossip time! Here's the juice for this week:

You?d think the classy ones would be above pettiness, but no. Turns out one of Bollywood?s most cultured male stars, an actor of impeccable pedigree, made it very clear to the editorial team of a Bollywood film publication that there was no way he?d show up for their awards ceremony if he wasn?t nominated for an award.

Problem is, the actor had only been in one film last year, and not only was the film a pretentious and boring flop, but his own performance in it hadn?t exactly won him any raves. Still, the team decided they needed as many stars to attend the show as they possibly could, and apparently decided that giving this gentleman a nomination was a reasonable price to pay for his attendance.

As agreed, he made it to the list of nominees. Weeks later, just hours before the big awards show in fact, when representatives from the publication called the star to ensure he was going to turn up and on time, he sprung another unpleasant surprise. He informed them he wasn?t going to attend, as his girlfriend hadn?t been nominated.

The lady in question, a major star herself, had been in more than one hit film last year, but nothing that merited an award or so much as a nomination even. The organisers of the show had taken her attendance for granted, as she regularly accompanies her boyfriend to public events.

In the end, the actor didn?t show up. Neither did his girlfriend, naturally. The organisers felt like idiots. Not only because he hadn?t kept his end of the deal, but because they?d decided to give him the award too. He was the only significant A-lister in that category, and it made sense to get him up on stage. But by the time he informed them he wasn?t coming, it was too late to pick another winner. They had to settle for a no-show when his name was announced. That, and the criticism for giving an award to an actor whose performance clearly didn?t deserve one.

Too bad our Bollywood award shows don't give out the "Most asinine couple of the year" award, they'd be a shoe in for that one!

Read our reveal after the jump!



Sometimes Mr. Masand makes it so blatantly obvious, it's like he's dying to tell us the name(s). But since he's averse to the use of proper nouns in his gossip items, it gives us something to discuss.

The couple being mentioned here is that ugly, seemingly unstoppable force that is Saifeena.

SAK, being one of 'Bollywood's most cultured male stars of impeccable pedigree' only acted in one film last year, Aarakshan, the 'pretentious and boring flop' in which his performance fizzled along with the BO ratings. Hmm...apparently no one gave a sh*t about what I thought, since SAK was the only thing I enjoyed worth watching during that snooze-fest, but I digress...

So SAK threatens a no show for this award show unless he's nominated. Insert 'I Dream of Jeannie' sound clip here, folks. BAM! The Colors Screen awards have SAK as a nominee for Best Supporting Actor, but that wasn't good enough and they were shocked to hear his next command suggestion. Heh heh heh, amateurs!

SAK wants his trophy wife-to-be, Kareena Kapoor to be nominated too! After all, it took every ounce of energy for her to pull out that amazing performance of a bratty rich girl in Bodyguard. She's got acting lineage, y'all! Just when we were blown away by that performance, she pulls out another unbelievable show-stopper playing a brainiac in Ra.One. Um..yeah, I'm so sure! She played a more convincing MD by day, model by night in KI. But hey, if SAK thinks she deserves an award nomination, then an award nomination she shall get! Only, she didn't. So SAK, said "Screw y'all, I'm staying home."

Even though SAK pulled a semi-Cartman, Colors Screen couldn't change the fact that they had already chosen SAK to win the award for his category. Why? He was the only A-lister nominated, and his presence on the stage meant money and ratings Cha-CHING for the organizers. Who cares if Kunal, Neil, Arunoday, and Rajesh Sharma feel like sh*t. But then again this being Bollywood....they never expected to win, did they? ;-)
[Openmag, HP]